guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
