Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
