Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
