Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
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