Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
