I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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