I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
