Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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