Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
