You're completely useless in the revolution.
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
