sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I can't put those talents on a resume
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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