proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
