Banned from zoo.
Again?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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