Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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