And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize