Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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