if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
