DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
