It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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