my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
