I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Still dying that you shit outside
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
