it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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