Non-Jews are for practice
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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