She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
