the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
