Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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