I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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