Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
