One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
