Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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