That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
