I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I made him laugh his dick is mine
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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