I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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