I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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