she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
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