DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
