People in love make me want to vomit
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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