then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize