that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
