I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
