It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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