Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
