I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
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