I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
