duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
