i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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