I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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