Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
