I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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