There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
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