There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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