So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
