What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Randomize
