Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
