I faked an abortion last night.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
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