Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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