I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
