my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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