This girl is more easily done than said...
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
the day after is always just damage control
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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