well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Randomize
