operation have a gay friend backfired
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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