I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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