what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
home. puking in laundry basket.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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